Being There for Yourself and Others...

Why is it so much easier to be there for others than to be there for yourself? 

We’re taught to be strong, not supported. We expect ourselves to be able to push through and persevere, and when times get tough we often try to minimize the impact. 

Sometimes focusing on others can be a retreat from our own overwhelming emotions, seeing your support have a positive impact on others can give us a sense of control. We see from the outside perspective the progress being made, knowing we played a role. It’s incredible. But if it’s so incredible why is it so hard to accept that understanding and support when we need it. 

Short answer, I think we prefer to be needed by others than to need others. If I am needed I can choose to be or not be there. I can choose to help. But when you need something or someone it can be out of your hands, you sometimes just have to wait and hope and that's hard. 

I know they always say to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when a person opens up to you, as an attempt to understand what they're feeling and what they might need. Next time you’re feeling too many feelings, big emotions, and just like you need some extra support. Put yourself in a friend's shoes, imagine they are feeling all the same feelings you are right now, and ask them what they need :) It might help to identify what could help you get the support you need.